Sunday, April 4, 2004

I've got one more day left to improve my final project that is not even there yet!!.. Sad though..bukannye tammo wat dah keje tuh.. BUt then it seems this is the moment where I feel really really down. Never before I felt the feeling of losing hope. Tried to be stronger.. and still I failed myself. :(.. help.. i'm drowning.. Now I know how people felt lost.. As I never failed myself before (in the academic part esp) cause I usually get what I tagerted for. Even if it is not that exact target, but at least, It come close to what I targeted for. So when this kind of thing happens I feel lost.. Really lost :( .. Right now I'm in the state of not knowing what to do. I really hope that I get through all this smoothly.. If not smoothly, hope everything will be ok in the end.. Allah help me.. Need your guidance!! Amin..

Friday, April 2, 2004



Which CSI are you

Sara Sidle

You like older men, and you are bitter when things go well for others.

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Halu.. I need a Lingual Specialist to translate the meening between "Sangap"

and "Suck". Both word are from different

language.


But I do believe they brought a different meaning."Sangap"

as what I understan, means something that is boring. Its just a word that


people use to potrays something that is boring.Thats all.Not more than that!.

While "Suck" means .... well if you try

to find it in a common dictionary, it will probably just means to suck something

:P. Well thats what they have in dictionary. the "Suck"

that people/ or straight to the point what I meant here means something

that is really really bad. or easy to say it is considers

as BAD WORD.. so bad that it is not translated

in dictionary ( ni yg aku cakap yg maksud buruk je tade lam dictionary. yg maksud

hisap ade je lam dictionary)



The reason with all the nonsense blablabla babble was that I had a stupid fight

with a SO CALLED friend. I did mention the word "Sangap"

to describe the place he lives. But that was just as a gesture of joking. I

repeat JOKING.It was then quickly followed by an appology as I was saying I

said that it was just a matter of joking. I admit that it was very "unwise"

of me to use those words to a person that I know would burst into emotional

disorder.
Yeah right!! SENTIMENT? ahahaha i didn't even use the word "Suck"

to describe the place. But then he claimed that i was being rude to

used such terms to describe the place he lives. BULLSHIT I say.. Learn to differentiate

between "Sangap" and "Suck".

Then only you can burst into anger.



MInd the language. Sorry I don;t usually use those kind of words. I'm not saying

I don't use those words. but I can clearly count how many times I used those

kind of word . ok..back to the stories bla bla bla...



This so called person as expected burst into anger. Well I do admit that I

did say the word "Sangap" and I do asked

forgiveness for the mistake that I made. But this so called person just rain

me with harsh words and refused to accept the appology. Fine with me I guess

but no need all the mumble jumble Harsh words. Maki2 seme..



To be honest, he didn't even know that his ANGER MANAGEMENT problem had always

been the reasons that some people are talking behind him. Nice parade.Join the

club..



Tak salah kalo nk ngamuk.. nk emosi.. but please come with solid reasons. Aku

admit I did the wrong. But aku jugak admit yg org ituh mmg ade masalah emotional

disorder. Fine. ko ngamuk aa tara mana pon..Serik aku ade kawan cenggituh..!!

I tried to be a good friend once. Good friend here mean no kutuk2 belakang..

but then i guess I'm not fit to do that to that exact person.Now I know what

people has been talkong about all along..



"Sebelum soh org cermin diri kat cermin.. Kite kene cermin diri kite jugak!!..

Cermin tuh can come in many ways.. Kawan2 pon leh jadi cermin..Kalo kawan2 tak

cakap ape, kite jgn pasan kite PERFECT.. Pikir2.. Renung2!!"



~ I'm only human.. I do make mistake. And I admit it..



yeay.. I suddenly created this blog . Tense moments make me create a blog :D.. ahahaha
The conversation below was a conversation I had with "ONCE" quite a close friend.. Just wondering is it me.. or its just the personality or ubringing of the person that made it sounded very harsh.. I admit that I do provoke the person, but then the main idea was just as a way of conversing and one of my way to joke with my friends. This particular so called friend has always been a bit on the emotional part. Not to blame anyone, but I was just thinking that "did i provoke him that bad" to the extend that he used bad languages. Well maybe its the term he usually uses with others, but to me, not to say that i don't use bad words, but to me I rarely use those kind of words. ESPECIALLY to my friends. I won't use that kind of words with my friends. Read along..Then maybe you'll get the idea of what am I saying.. and by the way this is a yahoo messenger converastion ( so the Id of the person is changed in order not to use the real name , identity or something)



azreen_ariffin (10:19:03 AM): tralalalala..... :P

azreen_ariffin (10:19:10 AM): owang majuk aku tak tahann

azreen_ariffin (10:19:11 AM): :P

ORG EMO (10:19:21 AM): merajuk?

ORG EMO (10:19:22 AM): wtf?

azreen_ariffin (10:19:26 AM): hoh

azreen_ariffin (10:19:31 AM): wtf :O

azreen_ariffin (10:19:37 AM): takkan sgt marah kot pasal hari tuh

azreen_ariffin (10:19:39 AM): lerrr

azreen_ariffin (10:19:40 AM): ko nih

azreen_ariffin (10:19:44 AM): takleh bergurau aaa

ORG EMO (10:19:57 AM): u tell me

ORG EMO (10:20:06 AM): sms aku semata2 nak cakap tempat aku membesar suck?

azreen_ariffin (10:20:16 AM): lerrrr

azreen_ariffin (10:20:20 AM): ya allah

azreen_ariffin (10:20:27 AM): hello brader.. aku main2 laaaaa

azreen_ariffin (10:20:30 AM): isy ko nih

azreen_ariffin (10:20:45 AM): susah aa kalo org provoke sket ko dh nk melenting

azreen_ariffin (10:20:49 AM): okay laa

azreen_ariffin (10:20:50 AM): fine

azreen_ariffin (10:20:53 AM): peh nih tak akco dah

azreen_ariffin (10:21:00 AM): aku cakap emnde seriyes je

azreen_ariffin (10:21:04 AM): fine with me

ORG EMO (10:21:11 AM): provoke2 gak aa

ORG EMO (10:21:18 AM): but sms aku semata nak cakap tempat aku suck?

ORG EMO (10:21:30 AM): and to think ko tak venture tempat aku lagi

ORG EMO(10:21:39 AM): think man think!

ORG EMO (10:22:02 AM): ade ko nampak aku main tetiba suckkan orang nye tempat?

azreen_ariffin (10:23:41 AM): laaa.. isy.. hello.. okay la ok laa fine.. aku mintak maaap..

azreen_ariffin (10:23:42 AM): salah aku

azreen_ariffin (10:23:50 AM): peh tuh then ape lagik ko nak aku buat?

azreen_ariffin (10:23:57 AM): yg apsti peh nih tak akco dah ko

ORG EMO(10:24:09 AM): ko kalo nak buat lawak2 camtuh, gi carik orang lain aa

ORG EMO (10:24:20 AM): aku tak layan lawak2 hina2 orang nie

azreen_ariffin (10:25:05 AM): ok.. fine..... kalo ko takleh nk accept .. mmg aku tak wat lawak bodoh dh pon.

azreen_ariffin (10:25:33 AM): tapi pada aku cam... pehal..... bukannye aku kutuk cam cakap shah alam ape2. ke... hmm dah laa

azreen_ariffin (10:25:38 AM): malas nk cakap banyak

azreen_ariffin (10:25:53 AM): sukati ko aa nk marah2

azreen_ariffin (10:25:57 AM): aku dh appologize

azreen_ariffin (10:26:02 AM): and pada aku nonsense...

azreen_ariffin (10:26:07 AM): sorry and bubbye

azreen_ariffin (10:26:08 AM): n

ORG EMO (10:26:11 AM): pada ko maybe nonsense

ORG EMO (10:26:15 AM): tapi bagi aku, tu pride

ORG EMO (10:26:21 AM): ko jgn ingat senang2 nak hina2 tempat orang

ORG EMO (10:26:28 AM): ko lenkali pk balik ape ko nak cakap

ORG EMO (10:26:38 AM): jgn ingat sume orang leh layan lawak2 bangang camtuh

ORG EMO(10:26:48 AM): nonsense konon, bole pegi jahanam aah



* for your information, I didn't actually use the word "suck" to describe the place. I just used "sangap". Differentiate both words. It meant a very different meaning.



Not that I like to make small matters o a bigger extend, but It is quite "FRUSTRATING" and "SAD" that a FRIEND used those kind of words with you. I do admit at certain extend that I did provoke him, but then as I asked others opinion on "did I do It over the limit"? most of them just answered that It does sound just like a typical joke. Not more than that.and me myself also do believe.. I TRUELY BELIEVE that I did it on a joke basis.. Not to insult or anything.



I also admit that maybe certain people accept different things with differents views. Maybe he just can't accept that kind of jokes. BUt then I really just used the word SANGAP.. wohoo if that single particular word can cause such outburst of HARSH words. than maybe i'm not fit to be his friend..I'm not saying that I he is not suitable to be my friend or anything, but to the extend that I think maybe that's the end of the friendship. Maybe I'm not immune enough to those kind of conversations.



Guess thats the end of it. JUst with one simple mistake.. PITY i say.. What to do.. things happen for some reasons..and not all reasons are good.



Enough of all this blablabla.. :P.. If I would like to describe what my heart really2 felt, I don't think that it will be enough to be sain it all in here. :).. Guess its all sum up ..



~~feeling dizzy!~~